Little Bill Clinton

A school year in the life of a new American

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Trying to ‘esplain’

By Mary Wiltenburg | August 14, 2008 edition

Mary Wiltenburg

Nyonyo and her 2-year-old son (inside the shopping cart) roll through the Indian Creek complex.


At Indian Creek, everyone knows I’m a reporter. But I’m also the only born-here American many families know, which makes me the go-to person for problems ranging from malfunctioning camcorders to puzzling school forms. At Bill’s house, where his parents are making substantial progress in English, this usually means explaining confusing paperwork.

But at Thayoomoo’s place, where her mom, Nyonyo, is starting from scratch with English, it’s all over the map. The first day I came to her house, ostensibly to talk about Burma (Myanmar), she asked me to help her practice for the Georgia driver’s written exam. Or, more precisely, she poked a battered driver’s manual at me and said, “You hep.”

I tried, for hours, with a thick pile of drawings and extensive pantomime. Mostly she looked baffled. I did manage, I think, to convey the meaning of “slippery,” by taking repeated spills on the carpet. At least, by the time I left, she was saying “flippery” and laughing, which seemed like progress.

The next time I came over, she hauled out a tall jar of coins, and said, “You esplain.” It turned out, in three years in the US, she’d never understood how many quarters make a dollar, or even that a dollar was just multiples of change. She had saved some of Thayoomoo’s first-grade worksheets on the subject, but couldn’t make sense of them.

In the meantime, after calling literally every local chain store, I’d brought along the only Lonely Planet Burmese phrasebook in metro Atlanta. This proved invaluable, because it had the word “equal” in the glossary, which, translated, is pronounced “tu-nyi-deh.”

With tu-nyi-deh, all things were possible. We took full advantage of the dry-erase board mounted on the living-room wall. Nyonyo and her 5-year-old son sat together on the carpet by the low table, guarding little stacks of pennies and dimes from the baby, who delighted in scattering them.

In two hours, they had mastered pennies, nickels, dimes, and quarters – and hints of multiples, the concept of fractions, and the base-10 numeral system. I’m no teacher, but they were quick, and ridiculously grateful. “Now I go store,” Nyonyo said proudly.

I drove home thinking what an idiot I was. Of course “hydroplaning” was a stretch, for someone who didn’t know the word “dime.”

Comments

1. Gail | 08.15.08

Thank you for this post! It makes me wish I lived near Indian Creek, but I’ll bet there are similar opportunities in my city.

2. Justine | 08.15.08

That is such a wonderful cultural exchange - Mary, you are so patient and open to helping others - thanks for sharing your experience and inspiring others to do the same!

3. Tracy | 08.19.08

Mary, thanks. That was hilarious. I could just see you slipping on the floor over and over again! Just wait for when you have to explain ounces and pounds and pints and quarts!

4. A | 08.19.08

This is a great series and as an ICS parent and former refugee resettlement worker I really appreciate your effort. That being said, and with all due respect:
1. “I’m also the only born-here American many families know.” No. By definition an ICS parent knows a number of “born-here Americans”–much of the school staff, including their teachers, fits that description, as do the parents of many children with whom their children play, at school and in each others’ homes, and their caseworkers.
2. “dilapidated” Thriftown may not be shiny and new but “dilapidated”? I was just there Saturday, and I didn’t see a store “in a state of disrepair or decay” [Webster’s]. “Dilapidated” seems unnecessarily pejorative.

5. Mary Wiltenburg | 08.20.08

“A,” you raise a good point about what it means to “know” a person. It would have been more precise of me to say “the only born-here American many families have in their homes on a regular basis.” Of course these families live in proximity to, and interact with, other people like me. But what’s striking to me is how slender these connections can sometimes be. Caseworkers tell me they work with the average refugee family only for their first three months in the country. Bill’s ICS teacher last year never met his parents. And a number of American ICS parents have contacted me after recognizing Bill and Igey in these stories as their children’s classmates, anxious to meet the boys’ parents for the first time. So is sharing a city, a grocery, or even common educational dreams with someone really “knowing” them? I wonder.

6. Mary Wiltenburg | 08.20.08

Oh! And I don’t mean to pick on Thriftown. Maybe there’s a better adjective. To me the store looks just a shade sketchier than my own neighborhood grocery, which has worked to deserve its nickname: “Murder Kroger.”

7. A | 08.21.08

Mary–
I guess I was being too indirect. I wrote about more than sharing a city, a school, or a grocery store. You made it sound like no one before you has made an effort to reach out and that’s just not so.

I’m sure it was unintentional, and the broader point was the one I made too briefly: thank you, thank you, to both you and the Monitor, for this series. I can’t tell you what a joy it is to read about our kids every morning.

8. A | 08.21.08

Mary–
I should add I used to be a reporter too.

If I’d had the chance to do stories like this and do it as well as you are maybe I still would be one!

9. Becky | 08.22.08

This is an absolutely wonderful series. And it’s not surprising to see some “word issues” come up. Even among people who grow up in the same neighborhood, I have found that people have extremely different ideas of the meaning of the word “clean”, for example. One person’s “clean house” can be another person’s “filthy mess,” and sometimes one can get the feeling that a friendship might just be broken off because of it. But it is so good to realize that we can all come to love each other in spite of our ever differing expressions and perspectives. And that is what all these language challenges all over the world will gradually teach us, as long as we keep more committed to our hearts that our words. Thank you Mary, and A, and all those connected with ICS, for sharing your experiment in creating a little piece of our New Humanity.

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